How to improve a difficult circumstance

Make the most out of your double-bind!

A double bind is placed on you when you are in a situation with two opportunities which both lead to failure. This sounds like an impossible situation to be placed in. If you have two opportunities and both lead to failure, how do you choose? Why would you choose?

All of us face double binds in our lives, and we often find ourselves complaining about how bad it is without taking any action to improve.

A double bind only bums you out if you fail to recognize any other solutions besides the two failing ones. Due to free will there’s theoretically an infinite amount of different choices you can make. While you’re essentially bound by circumstance to make a choice which makes some rational sense, you cannot choose to become Sherlock Holmes, but could become a police detective and make your own system of rational deduction.  We have to make compromises in life, but we also need to be aware of the possibilities.

We have free will and can make any type of decision, and act in whatever way we choose to; only bound by the limitations of objective reality. We can work around difficult problems and create a sense of satisfaction with our limitations by applying creative problem solving to create innovative solutions to double bind situation.

You get treated as what you portay yourself as

If I go around acting like some sort of badass action hero, I might at some point be treated as some sort of badass action hero. That sounds like it would be awesome, but let’s think about that for a bit. If I was a badass action hero, what would be expected of me?

A badass action heroe faces impossible odds, and miraculously manage to kill all the bad guys. If I had those expectations placed on me, it would be impossible for me to live up to them. I would essentially be treated as if I was a fictional character which cannot exist in conseus reality.

If I go around just, being forthcoming about who I was and not trying to pretend to be someone I am not, the same concept applies, after a while I would have expectations placed on me that were more or less resonable for who I am.

To take action

No matter what your circumstance is, there are opportunities. Sometimes your only opportunity is death, but most of the time there’s more opportunities then we know. All your choice will lead to consequences, that’s a law of reality. Even if I choose to do nothing I have made a choice, and there’s consequences for my choice. No matter what you choose you will be having some impact on the world, even if the consequences for your actions come long after you’re dead.

We essentially are forced to live, and forced to act. There’s no way you can choose to stop doing. That’s almost like not breathing, humans are compulsively taking action. We do not have a choice to not do anything, because our instinct compells us towards existance. To not act is to be dead.

Is there a way to enjoy my difficult circumstance?

You might have seen a lot of movies and heard a lot of songs that communicate some type of ideal. Your situation isn’t what is portrayed by movies and media. There’s a lot of room for imagination in your life, and it might be necessary to settle for something that isn’t even the second best option, but way down on your list of what’s your perfect lifestyle.

Imagine you want to live a crazy party lifestyle, going without sleep for days and function, always be having fun with other people, and using an excess of cannabis and alcohol. But in reality, you only have 1 friend, cannabis and alcohol make you tired, and you’re so busy surviving that you’re kind of a bummer to be around. How could you possibly be okay with that?

You start by finding the things you do actually enjoy. Maybe weed and alcohol make you tired, but what do you enjoy? Maybe you’re a bummer to be around, but is there maybe a self deprecating charm to you that you like? Even if you only have 1 friend, what do you enjoy about your friend that makes you maintain the friendship?

Once you know what you enjoy you can start getting creative. If you love coffee in the morning, try to cultivate that joy. Get real into having coffee in the morning. Develop yourself on the areas your strong at, and make yourself fun by cultivating your charm in areas which it already exists. Try to really nurture your 1 friendship, and hopefully you can find that your lifestyle can be both flawed and perfect at the same time.

Photo credits:

Lonely man sitting on a concrete stairs by MART PRODUCTION, Pexels.com

Man sitting and closing eyes on teal bench by Jeswin Thomas, Pexels.com